Love Yourself or Die to Self? Biblical View of Self-Worth and Self-Care

You’re Enough?

The concept of self-care seems normal, wise, and even biblically prescribed. We’re to exercise, eat right, be good stewards of our bodies -- after all, they’re temples of the Holy Spirit. Yet, our culture uses the term in a slightly different way. Though they’ll include things like exercise and eating right, self-care actually refers to doing something just for you. It’s the notion that you’re worth it; you’re enough; you’ve got it going on, and you should think so to the max. Take that “me time,” after all, you deserve it. And, if you don’t have that bubble bath just for you, then you sure can’t be expected to do whatever else you need to do.

Self-Focus?

The world puts a premium on self-focus. We can’t escape cultural virtues like self-esteem, self-promotion, self-worth, or self-assertiveness. But God’s word says something very different. A focus on self is actually sinful. We’re to die to self and focus on God and others. To the Romans, Paul says, “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion” (Rom. 12:10-16). It seems that God’s opinion is radically different from the world’s when it comes to the issue of self. To the Philippians he says, “Fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (Phil. 2:2-4). It seems that God’s ethic is radically different from the world’s. Paul goes on to tell us that we need the mind of Christ. He’s the One who humbled Himself and gave Himself for others in an ultimate way (Phil. 4:5-8). We need His mind.

Identity in Christ

Rather than a constant pat on the back, or affirmations that you’re enough, or aroma bubble baths every night, we need to overcome our preoccupation with self. The only way to do that is to find our identity in Christ. Whatever value we might have, it’s not inherent in us. It’s not owing to us in any way. It comes from God. I am what I am by the grace of God, period. When we get that figured out, we find our value, or better yet, our meaning, in Christ. That’s where it’s at. The antidote to a focus on self is simple: “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory” (Col. 3:2-4).

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